Kathryn Hodgson

Do you know your strengths?

(I stole the idea for this from Oprah on Monday – just in case you saw it)

I remember being in an interview about 10 years ago and asked what my strengths and weaknesses were. It seems to be a stock interview question but even then I thought it was a peculiar question, as if I was going to say ‘well, I’m a hard worker but I’m useless at time keeping and can be a bit forgetful’, and of course they would go ‘perfect – just who we’re looking for!’.

I never liked the word weakness until I heard Marcus Buckingham (expert on building on your strengths) say that strengths are literally what make you feel strong and weaknesses are what make you feel weak, it’s not about what you are good at or bad at – just what makes you feel strong or weak. Now this makes sense as obviously you will be more enthusiastic about what makes you feel strong, and will have more energy. It also means it’s something only you can really know – another myth we have is that other people can tell us what are strengths are.

If you do sports, especially martial arts, or talk to anyone who excels at what they do, they will tell you they focus on their strengths and avoid their weakness, and yet at school and even at work you may be encouraged to focus and improve your weaknesses. Now I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t improve your weaknesses but most of your attention should be on doing what makes you strong.

Unfortunately I find that people seem loath to talk about what their strengths are, like it is arrogant to know what you are good at, or maybe fearful that if you say I’m good at X others may disagree. (like all those poor singers on X-factor!) Another reason is that we often do not realise that what we do is ‘special’ enough to be called a strength as we assume it’s normal. So maybe a way round it is to think in terms of what makes you feel strong, so you’re not boasting or asking others to agree – only you can know. And the chances are you will be good at what makes you feel strong, or at least be willing to keep practising until you are. It just so happens that what makes you strong is what you love doing anyway. Doing things that make you feel weak will drain you of energy and both physically and mentally deplete you. The more things you do to strengthen yourself then the more time you will have for other things – including a few that weaken you if you need to.

Then there is the fun factor – how can life possibly be fun (or easy) if you are doing things that make you feel weak? (on your list include things like having a laugh with colleagues as these can make using weaknesses more bearable).

How we feel when we do certain things is our indicator about what we are designed to be doing, and what everyone will benefit from you doing. If you are focusing on stuff you feel weak doing then it is likely that you find it difficult to feel good about yourself, and may even beat yourself up for not being better at what you are meant to be doing in the first place!! An analogy I use is to blame a racehorse for finding it difficult to pull a plough. As I said before - people who excel do so by focusing on their strengths. 

By simply focusing more on your strengths, and encouraging others to do so, you can transform your life. You do not have to do what you feel weak doing – although it is worth checking out that whether it is the activity or your thoughts about the activity that make you weak. If you remember from past articles thinking negatively about what will happen will weaken you.

So - do you know your strengths?

In a US study they found that only about 1 in 10 people actually knew what their strengths were, which begs the question – how can you focus on your strengths if you don’t know what they are?

In his workshops Marcus Buckingham asks people to keep a list for a week of what you do and how it makes you feel (before when you are thinking of it, during and afterwards). It only applies to things you do, rather than what is done to you, eg. feeling strong when you get praise doesn’t mean getting praised is one of your strengths!

Then you need to look at how much of your job (or how you spend your time) is using your strengths. If most of your time is not spent on strengths then not only are you not fulfilling your potential, nor feeling great, but also you are not giving your best to your employer and other people. So at work you could talk to your boss about ‘maximising your strengths’, or maybe start looking for a more suitable job for the long term. (the same can be applied to other areas of your life by focusing on your strengths)

Here’s a suggestion for the next month

1. Keep a list of how you feel when you do things over the next week
2. Pick 2 strengths you could spend time doing more of, and find ways to do more of them.
3. Pick 2 weaknesses you can do less of, and find ways to do less of them.

Remember that there is someone else out there that would love to do what you hate doing, but could be doing what they hate because you have their job!! I truly believe that if we all did what we love (strengths) then everything would fit together perfectly, and we’d all be a lot happier too. This whole exercise is about getting to know yourself so you can live your life as you are meant to – happy and effortlessly.

 (if you want more information on this you can follow Marcus Buckingham’s workshop for free at http://www.oprah.com/money/career/marcus/course/marcus_course_main.jhtml)