Live everyday as if it's a Sunday
I
have had more trouble with myself than with any other person I've
met.
(Dwight Moody)
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
(Anais
Nin)
If you have read any of my recent blogs you will know I have a new
philosophy in life - live everyday as if it is Sunday. The idea
behind it is that on a Sunday I give myself permission to only do
what I feel like doing, no shoulds or have tos, and as a consequence
I end up doing lots and getting very inspired. Then along comes
Monday and I noticed that even though I love my work I still felt
like there were things I had to do, and consequently felt heavier
and less inspired. As I know that it is our thinking that dictates
how we feel, and therefore how we behave, I decided to do an
experiment to see if pretending Monday was actually a Sunday made
any difference. And boy did it! Again I got a lot more done, was
very creative and felt completely chilled out too.
Now here's the key to it:
Every time I felt any
resistance to doing something I told myself
'it's Sunday, I don't have to do
it'. And
then I sat and did nothing. Usually within a few minutes I then
wanted to do what I resisted, and if I didn't then I let it go.
Now I know some of you will be thinking that you can't do that
as you have to go to work/ feed the kids etc, but actually you don't
have to, you have
a choice. And by removing your attitude of resenting having to do
something you will probably find you don't mind doing it! One
morning I had to get up early, and I hate getting up early, but
instead of moaning about it I told myself I don't have to get up, I
could actually stay in bed. After a few minutes of enjoying that
thought I got up. It really is that simple.
If you took out the words should, ought, must and have to from your
thinking you would transform how you feel and therefore how you
behave. I felt blocked writing this because I was telling myself I
should get it done, as soon as I decided to give up trying and sat
to meditate I got inspired.
Think about something you tell yourself you have to or should do,
and then rephrase it saying I can. Does it feel better? If you are
going to do something surely it would be easier to feel good before
you do it. So much stress is caused by what we are telling ourselves
before we even do what we think will stress us.
Which reminds me of something I heard and repeat to myself anytime I
get stressed:
I am stuck in traffic. I
can either be stressed and stuck in traffic, or relaxed and stuck in
traffic. Either way I'm still stuck in traffic.
(Substitute stuck in traffic for
whatever you are getting stressed about, eg. my boss is unfair, I
have no money, I have too much to do etc)
Getting stressed will not change anything - except to make you feel
bad and less able to deal with what you are stressed about! (I know
it can be more complicated than that if you are programmed to get
stressed, but it doesn't mean it's any less true). Sometimes we have
little stresses that we are not aware of, like I did around what I
'had to' do on Mondays.
I feel the need to also point out that being relaxed, or telling
yourself you don't have to do something, will not mean that nothing
will get done. You might think it would but the reality is you will
usually end up doing more. (even if you do nothing for a few minutes
first).
Another key thing is:
Tell yourself you are
going to do an experiment and try this out for a week. You can
always revert back and by doing it this way it stops your mind
objecting so much.
When ever I come across an idea or suggestion for changing my
thinking I use this method. It's so much simpler than trying to root
out what thoughts are preventing me from changing, and if it doesn't
benefit me with the new attitude I revert back to the old way
(although I have yet to revert back to any old way). This is a bit
like the 'act as if' technique, if you act as if you are (confident,
relaxed etc) then you will start to feel it too. Another method I've
used is to imagine I'm a character in a movie playing the role of
someone who is however I want to be - this can help you change your
thinking and is fun too.
One final thought on all this is that if you spend too much time in
your head thinking, and believing your thoughts, then it can be
difficult to get any control over them. It's a bit like standing in
the rain trying to not to get wet by using only your hands.
Meditating or becoming aware of your thoughts can be like putting up
an umbrella - the thoughts are still there but they just ain't
bothering you as much.
©2008
Kathryn Hodgson
