26th August 2019 at 12:20 pm #376KathrynKeymaster
Ouch, something is up. It’s OK to feel upset/ annoyed, it’s called being human and impossible to do this job without wobbling sometimes! What matters is how quickly you can un-wobble (and without taking others down with you!)
But firstly remember you are f’king awesome for just showing up and caring enough to do this job, now how can we make it easier for you? We deserve just as much kindness and support as our clients; we’re all in this together.
Feel it, shake it off, put things right
• Feel it – separate the emotion from the story in your head, breathe. Get it out first if you need – either to someone who will help you process (& not agree/ wind you up more) or on paper. Then feel, not fuel.
• Shake it off – whatever works for you – a walk, breathe, literally shake, dance, change your energy – daydream, think of something that makes you feel good… Ask yourself ‘would you rather be right or happy’ – you can be both but never from a place of unbalanced emotions. Ground/ meditate and send yourself love, fill yourself to overflowing.
• Put things right – from a calm place look at it objectively. What it is really about – it’s usually a combination of our stuff and external stuff, yes someone else may be being an a*hole but there’s also a reason why you reacted so much to it.
What do you want others (or yourself) to do/ be so you are at peace? Watch for the beautiful shoulds…
And then look at what you can do to change the situation, or accept it, or leave it. Sometimes it’s a one off frustration but you can still learn how to deal with it differently next time. If it’s ongoing you will need more than just reading this to try and solve, so how can you keep yourself sane in the meantime.
Decisions are rarely as urgent as we think; other people can survive better than we think.
Do your best and then let go.
The best way to help others is from a place of you feeling good, you feeling upset/ angry/ resentful doesn’t help anyone.
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